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What is your return policy?

We have a 100% satisfaction guarantee here at Completely Different Shirts.  If, for any reason, you are unsatisfied with your order, we will refund 100% of your costs, including shipping.  All we ask is that you send us an e-mail explaining what was unsatisfactory so that we can do better next time.  You can send those e-mails to

Do you have a rewards program?

At this time, we do not have a rewards program.  If you would like to earn discounts, click "New Designs" in the upper right corner and enter your e-mail address for 15% off your next order.

How long will it take me to get my shirts?

Currently, we are creating each shirt as the orders come in.  You can expect it to take 2-3 business days to print the shirt, and another 3-5 business days for the shirt to travel from our home to yours (depending on where you live.)

Can you ship outside the US?

Not at this time.  We hope to be adding Canada, soon, and if that experiment is a success we will work on expanding to the rest of the world.

Do you offer any faster shipping methods?

Not at this time.  If that is something that is important to you, please e-mail me at and I'll see if we can't make an exception for you.

What types of payment do you take?

We currently accept most major credit cards, Paypal, and Amazon Pay.

Do you offer any discounts?

We do!  First off, there's free shipping for any orders of 3 or more shirts.

Also, if you click "New Designs" in the top-right corner of the page and enter your e-mail address, I'll send you a coupon for 15% off your next purchase.  (You'll also be notified any time we offer any other sales or release new designs.)

Do I have to pay taxes?

Yes-and-no.  I've incorporated sales tax into the final price listed on the website.  So you are paying taxes (as every good citizen must), but the taxes will not be an additional cost to what you already see displayed.

What types of shirts do you print on?

We print on Gildan 6400 Unisex Softstlye. You can see detailed technical and washing information about the shirts on our "Shirt Specs" page.

Where were the shirts made?

The shirts themselves are sewn together in Nicaragua.  The printing is performed in Los Angeles, CA.

What sizes and colors do you offer?

We offer small, medium, large, and extra large in navy, black, and white.  If you would like something else, please e-mail me at  We can probably print a special shirt for you, it's just likely to cost more.

Are your shirts pre-shrunk?  Do they run large or small?

The shirts are pre-shrunk.  From my personal experience, the sizes run a tiny bit on the larger scale.  I normally wear an XL, and I do prefer the looser fit of a Completely Different XL.  But I can fit into a Completely Different Large without stretching the material.  Who knows - maybe I'm just losing weight.  :-)

How often do you release new designs?

It's pretty random!  It depends on when I have new ideas and how long it takes to actually draw the design.  If you'd like to be notified, click "New Designs" in the top-right corner of the page and enter your e-mail address.  You'll also receive a coupon for 15% off your next order!

Where do you get your ideas?

Where don't I get my ideas?  I've been a creative type my entire life, and once I started focusing on shirt designs, I see the whole world in shirts.  The simplest equation is this: find something you like, find another thing with the same name, and see if putting them together makes you laugh.  If it does, you've got yourself a shirt idea.

Aren't you worried about copyright infringement?

Nope.  All of Completely Different Shirt's designs fall under the realm of parody, and thus no infringement is occurring.

Do you accept design ideas?

Not at this time.  Because we currently have many designs in process for release at a later time, if you were to submit a suggestion that is similar to one of those ideas, we could both get into a lot of legal trouble.

If you have ideas for designs, feel free to submit them to places such Threadless, TeeFury, and ShirtWoot.

Who draws your designs?

All of the designs are commissioned by various artists that I've met over the years.  Some are friends.  Some are strangers from the internet.  Most of them are humans.

Do you sell anything else?

Slowly but surely, we plan to expand our catalog to include hoodies, mugs, and mouse-pads.  If these ventures are successful, then you can bet we'll continue expanding.  If there's something particular you'd like to see one of our designs printed on, please feel free to e-mail me at

Do you have a physical store?

Not at this time.

What makes your shirts "Completely Different?"

Every Completely Different shirt has a transponder chip sewn into the collar that will force wearers to obey my every command.  Tonight, I'm going to try to take over the world.

[Update.  It seems my colleague failed to encase the chips in water-proof casing.  A single wash will render them useless, creating shirts that aren't completely different at all, save the nifty designs on their front-sides.  Oh well.  Back to that lab to prepare for tomorrow night.]

Which shirt is your favorite?

Goodness.  This is basically Sophie's Choice.  But I have to admit I have a particularly soft spot for the Stargoyles Design.  Maybe because there has never been enough Gargoyles merchandise.  But I also like that the shirt is totally meaningless if you're not aware of the voice-actor connection between Star Trek and Gargoyles.  That level of nerdity always appeals to me.

Who should I contact if I have additional questions?

Please contact with any additional questions.